As I wait for my family to come here, I got my share of regrets for not leaving for Bicol last night. I know I should have come home. Maybe, just maybe, I can get to see him for the last time. Even if he is in deep sleep.
As I was calling my sister, I can hear him snore on the other line. Hear my family talking but can't understand a word they were saying for my mind is in a total blur. Fighting back the tears. Hoping everything will turn out just as fine as it has always been.If I was there, I won't let him have his afternoon nap. I would rather let him scold at me for watching TV in the afternoon (He doesn't like us to spend a lot of time in front of television. He is so old school.).
What will I miss about him?
1) His addiction to boxing. He argues with us whenever we have lunch in front of the television but if it is about boxing, his rules are not applicable.
2) His bossy attitude. He is the oldest person in the house so he is the King. His decisions are final and irrevocable.
3) His every-night-Bible-reading session. He loves to read the Marhay na Bareta, a bicol translation of the holy gospel... He reads it every night since I was in highschool.
4) His OLD SPICE cologne. Hahaha. My nose gets irritated whenever he uses it since he sprays it too much.
5) He likes me and Chie-chielle to check if he looks good enough whenever he goes to church. We tie his shoes or lock his sandals since his back is aching whenever he reaches his feet.
6) His long hours in the bathroom when he takes a bath!
7) His interest on Plants vs. Zombies whenever we play it.
8) He is a health conscious person. He doesn't eat pork. Haha.It isn't healthy 'daw' e. I remember there was a time when he consulted me about his health because he thinks I am already a doctor. HAHAHAHa
9) He insist on going to the field to tell our workers about the things they have to do. I told you, he is really bossy.
10) I remember when we destroyed his bike just so he would stop riding it.
What I miss most is when he makes me cryeverytimeI leave Bicol. He tells me "baka di na kita magkita ligayon. Maluya nako. Gurang na" which means "Baka di na tayo magkita ulit. Mahina na ko. Matanda na." Then I just turn my back on him crying and telling him that won't happen since he still can walk straight and he still is healthy. What he doesn't know is that, every time I go home, I always find it hard to leave. I always wish that Im just an hour or less away from them so I could get to go home everytime I want to.
He is 92 years old. Too old I guess.. But not too weak to die yet. I am such a selfish person for still not accepting that he decided to stay asleep until his heart stops beating. So selfish to think that it is not his time yet. So selfish to accept that maybe he has done everything he wanted in this lifetime that is why he's gone.
I am so pathetic that this year would be a lucky one. But it's time to let go of that idea. Too many people I know died this year. My heart just can't take it right now.
It all happened so fast. It has been 24 hours since he started his deep sleep. 6 hours since his heart stops beating. 6 hours of crying. and 3 hours of making this note. and 6 hours of getting all these details sink in my memory.
Bonifacio V. Pestio, Sr.
(May 28, 1918 - December 7, 2010)